Adult Children
Adult Children
ARC © March 14, 2009
Pay Back Time. Remember how frustrated you were when you were little and didn’t like what your parents said or did…your turn.
All those do’s and don’t…say please/thank you; brush your teeth; pick up your room…don’t talk with your mouth full. Now you get to say the do‘s and don‘ts.
Remember how your life was `organized’ - get up, get ready, go to school, soccer practice - now your turn. Isn’t it amazing? The older parents get, the `younger’ in needs.
Are you saying…not mine…they’re almost to their 70s and still going strong. You’re deliberately fooling yourself. It’s a macho act. They’ve become like you when you were younger…let’s see…what’s the best way to talk/act not to get in trouble.
How do I avoid `that look’ of disappointment. How do I make sure `they’ will call,
give me some attention, even want to see me every once in a while.
Oh yes, I’ve seen that very, very rare parent/adult child who thoroughly thrive with each other. In my entire life, I have `seen it’ less than five times - absolutely astounding! I’ve analyzed it - and so far this is what I think. First: the parent never did physical punishment and/or yelling. Discipline was a quiet firm voice of respect - fair! Second: parent was very warm/affectionate - lots of quality `doing things together time’ - a camaraderie that was cultivated in the `growing‘ years. Last: parent wasn’t `stage’ personality dominating the `show’ - casting too big a shadow.
Alas, too many parents do the opposite and the result is `adult children’ who let go. Oh yes, there are familial gatherings and everyone is on their best behavior but blessedly and hoped for are `times that are short, mercifully sweet’. There is a dread of senior advancement and possibly put in the role of `taking care’ of them - so love and relief if parents stay independent and active. But, oh my gosh, if they are doing things that `they’ don’t approve of. They, of course, are adults - and they, of course, now know best - especially for their parents. You can’t believe how `adolescent’ they act; how immature they seem. So, of course, you have to `set them straight’.
I wasn’t one of those parents who did it right - truly right. Alas, at the time, of course, thought I was; too late - found out I wasn’t. God’s mercy/prayers have blessed me undeservedly though. I feel their love, duty, and I bask in the warmth of their caring/sharing for they go above and beyond.
How I `regret’ what I neglected for mine when I was the `adult child’. They have to hear too late in `heavenly home’ my heart…oh mom, dad, I would have `taken charge’ - arranged the quality time of respect - getting to know you more - shown you in so many ways how grateful I was for your parenting, your caring, your sharing, your love. Oh yes, I would have said it, done it then. Thank God, I feel their forgiveness/I so miss them.+
ARC © March 14, 2009
Pay Back Time. Remember how frustrated you were when you were little and didn’t like what your parents said or did…your turn.
All those do’s and don’t…say please/thank you; brush your teeth; pick up your room…don’t talk with your mouth full. Now you get to say the do‘s and don‘ts.
Remember how your life was `organized’ - get up, get ready, go to school, soccer practice - now your turn. Isn’t it amazing? The older parents get, the `younger’ in needs.
Are you saying…not mine…they’re almost to their 70s and still going strong. You’re deliberately fooling yourself. It’s a macho act. They’ve become like you when you were younger…let’s see…what’s the best way to talk/act not to get in trouble.
How do I avoid `that look’ of disappointment. How do I make sure `they’ will call,
give me some attention, even want to see me every once in a while.
Oh yes, I’ve seen that very, very rare parent/adult child who thoroughly thrive with each other. In my entire life, I have `seen it’ less than five times - absolutely astounding! I’ve analyzed it - and so far this is what I think. First: the parent never did physical punishment and/or yelling. Discipline was a quiet firm voice of respect - fair! Second: parent was very warm/affectionate - lots of quality `doing things together time’ - a camaraderie that was cultivated in the `growing‘ years. Last: parent wasn’t `stage’ personality dominating the `show’ - casting too big a shadow.
Alas, too many parents do the opposite and the result is `adult children’ who let go. Oh yes, there are familial gatherings and everyone is on their best behavior but blessedly and hoped for are `times that are short, mercifully sweet’. There is a dread of senior advancement and possibly put in the role of `taking care’ of them - so love and relief if parents stay independent and active. But, oh my gosh, if they are doing things that `they’ don’t approve of. They, of course, are adults - and they, of course, now know best - especially for their parents. You can’t believe how `adolescent’ they act; how immature they seem. So, of course, you have to `set them straight’.
I wasn’t one of those parents who did it right - truly right. Alas, at the time, of course, thought I was; too late - found out I wasn’t. God’s mercy/prayers have blessed me undeservedly though. I feel their love, duty, and I bask in the warmth of their caring/sharing for they go above and beyond.
How I `regret’ what I neglected for mine when I was the `adult child’. They have to hear too late in `heavenly home’ my heart…oh mom, dad, I would have `taken charge’ - arranged the quality time of respect - getting to know you more - shown you in so many ways how grateful I was for your parenting, your caring, your sharing, your love. Oh yes, I would have said it, done it then. Thank God, I feel their forgiveness/I so miss them.+
posted by R. M. Namaste' at
September 07, 2009
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