Solo Lifestyle

SOLO LIFESTYLE
© May 13, 2009 ARC

In my 40s, I was a self-employed single mother
with a need for social networking.
I made it into an adventure.

Once a week I would visit a different singles event.
The local newspapers had several sections
that listed events by churches, singles organizations,
business and educational groups.

The goal was to stay long enough to meet
at least three peers of same and opposite sex.

I had a tried and true intro -
I would introduce myself and say:
I love hearing about Magic Moments and Memories,
would you share one of yours? It broke the ice.

I compiled a list of the events -
became another source of topic.
It eventually became a resource directory -
would walk into events with singles coming up to me.

I wasn’t discriminatory - `all’ groups were investigated
and explored from established groups
like Parents Without Partners
to different denomination churches
to Sierra Club to home house parties hosted by peers -
several of them used clubhouses.

One very popular group hosted monthly parties
at different clubhouses where everyone contributed
potluck with simple punch, no liquor - donation was $15.00.

Then I decided to host my own.
Mine were very, very simple -
small donation and very simple snacks.
RSVP only and the time was strict: 7:00 to 10:00 p.m.

Guests were cautioned to arrive and leave quietly
(I would make announcement at 9:45 p.m. and turn off music).
There was a theme: guest speaker.

Evening went as follows:
guest arrive/greeted at door/sign-in/name tag/donation.

There was a literature table
where I had placed literature from other groups,
guests were encouraged to place their business cards.

7:30 I would introduce myself -
tell them my formula for meeting people,
encourage them to do the same.

8:00 everyone intro
coupled with any caring/sharing announcement.

Then I would introduce guest speaker
for one hour presentation.

Popular speakers were
representatives from other groups,
ministers, psychologists,
someone running for public office.

Then party music mixing/mingling.

Good bys encouraged sensitivity and respect
in quiet residential neighborhood.

News Releases went into local papers
that made it very easy to stay consistent
without repeating myself.
Singles 40+ RSVP Only
House Parties every 1st Friday month 7:00 p.m. to 10 p.m. -
simple refreshments - $3.00 donation -
Guest Speaker - Networking Literature Table -
Directions Upon Confirmation.

They/I became extremely popular -
excellent resource meeting interesting people.
I often met `lonely singles’
who were `messing’ up their life
with one form of addictive behavior or another.

My academic studies were psychology.
I found a consistent `thread’ that dominated -
too much into their own head -
not enough into `caring/sharing’ with others.

When asked, guidance was simple.
Find one or two organizations to volunteer for
that `take you out of yourself’
like Special Olympics and/or Senior Convalescent Homes;
and attend one new social event each week
meeting at least three new people focusing
on the ones `hiding in the corner’ - put them on stage/you off.

People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.
Oftentimes lonely people
surround themselves with `same ol’ - `same ol’.

They are missing drama and excitement of `new’.
People are like countries.
People are like great books just waiting to be read.
People are new horizons.
People generate healing blessings.

God Bless+++ ###